Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
