Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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