my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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