My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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