Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he fucked my hip out of place.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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