saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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