apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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