how can u be prego again
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
