Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
