doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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