I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
