I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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