i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Panties = found
Randomize
