I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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