is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
