I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
