you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize