I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
