I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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