I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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