This is not my ceiling
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
