Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
