Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
