Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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