How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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