Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
