I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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