Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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