you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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