her vagina looked like bernie madoff
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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