Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
