nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize