Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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