i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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