Umm I'm too high to move.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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