apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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