i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
