He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am mentally ready for anal.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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