Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
