i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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