I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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