he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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