We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
