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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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