How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
