dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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