you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
