drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
