I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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