I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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