Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
