Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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