You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she told me i tasted like america
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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