evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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