You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
