"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
