I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
