Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
