definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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