Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
