just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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