i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
