She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
