don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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