People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
