im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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