I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
