careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
