Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
